No expectations...

Hi,
For those of you who don't know, I have been relocated for the next couple of weeks for work. Apparently we have to process invoices in time so that the payments don't fall into next year. Our budget for 2009 has been drastically cut...along with others out there, the market isn't doing too well for our company.

While here, it's easy to fall into the stress and negativity that is surrounding me. Many people are worried about losing their jobs, and the bosses are totally playing on that feeling. We are getting threatened to do this, or that...or else. I, like others, have fallen into this trap. Yet at the same time, I am always silently cleaning in my mind. I'm saying, "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, thank you, thank you..." over and over in my head.

Since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to be a writer. I've always wanted to be like the next Stephen King, or Dean R. Koontz. I've written mostly for fun, and haven't really tried to get published. But since reading Max Lucindo's Finding the Sweet Spot, I realize that this is my passion. I love writing. Like take this blog, I've had it for almost a year and have well over 100 posts. I haven't made money with this blog but I enjoy writing, hence I keep posting away.

Anyway once I started reading his book, I realized that my day job isn't my dream job. For years I thought I would love to be a CEO for a big corporation (I am an accountant). I used to love challenges and responsibilities and working long hours...as I am getting older, I noticed that I no longer love the long hours, waking up early, or the stress. I do love to write.

Mabel Katz says to do what you love to do. Do what you are passionate about and money will come. Well I decided I should really give writing a go. But of course, at the same time I am trying hard not to have any expectations. So I sent a few query letters to some agents, and one of them liked it, and hooked me up with a publisher. So this small publisher would like to see a copy of my science fiction novel (I love writing fiction, I'm very creative that way). But I'm afraid. I know I need to let go of expectations and not care whether he likes my work or not, but it's hard. So right now I am just cleaning on the manuscript and trying to have no expectations. If he doesn't like it, that's okay, obviously that is not my path.

I haven't sent it yet, as right now I do have expectations...so I am busy cleaning, and retyping and editing my manuscript. By next week I'll probably send it out and see what they say...but I am thankful for the opportunity, and if God wants it to happen it will...otherwise I just need to let go and know that I know nothing. Which is the hard part. But perhaps with the Christmas holidays and being busy at work, this should distract me from worrying about being published. I just need to trust that God will provide what is best for me, in this time and place.

I love you! And thank you for everyone who has read my blog, and for your comments. You inspire me to keep going!

T